biggest losers...

what causes a person to have an addictive personality?  what pushes, and i guess motivates, a person to be so needy in life?  i was watching the biggest loser tonight and it was killing me on how may people on the show cry out "i need this", "i can't go home yet" or "i need bob!".  what makes these people so weak?

of course you need it.  you have no self control, no discipline, no self worth.... so what is the motivating factor to be on the show?  weight or money?  if you want to lose weight, go for a walk. take the time and actually go to the gym.  or if you just need someone to yell at you in your face to work out, pay me a large amount of money and i'll yell at you.  i'm ok with it.  

ugh.... just, ugh.

just a twisted thought, jillian is hot!  she demands their best when she yells with verve and passion.....that's sexy!

    

ring of fire

central oklahoma is literally on fire.  entire neighborhoods have been evacuated.  homes and memories have been lost.  lives are now devastated and forever drastically changed.  as i sit on my couch and watch the fires on the news, my heart is breaking.  what can i do?  photos and videos on the news look like a video game or movie.  you look at the images in horror and gasp, hoping that what you are seeing isn't real.  my stomach is in my throat...

my friend travis lives in choctaw and i can't get out there to help him because the fires have jumped the roads and traffic has stopped.  the flames are 2 miles north of his house and slowly moving south.  i really feel helpless.  all i can do is pray at this point....  i may take off work tomorrow and help him do whatever.

i never have been a fan of this state.  the weather, most people, football.....it all annoys me.  one thing that i do admire about the state is when people rally together for others.  the downside to that is that it takes a disaster (like this) to bring it out in the community.  why is that?  why does someone have to lose everything before another individual will help?  

i say these things but i point the finger at myself.  i never have been one to get involved with other peoples business.   it's only until recently that i've started caring for, or even paying attention to, others and their needs.  and it's been a difficult process.  i'm still not 100% into it yet but God is still working here.  we'll see what happens there.

closing thought: do something.

drain you....but really me

my motivation factor has been lacking, to say the least, here as of late.  i can't quite put my finger on what the problem is either which kind of pisses me off.  i don't work hard.  i basically walk around and supervise people.  i don't have any underlying stress of any kind.  i'm not depressed.  

today i got up, ate a nice breakfast and went to ride one of my favorite trails in norman.  felt great when i started.  the trail seemed packed so the bike was rolling fast which i love.  i was making good headway until i clipped a tree with the handlebar.  no biggy, got up and kept going.  a few miles later i fell in a rock garden, which is so not like me.  after that, motivation was running out of me much like the blood that was running down my leg.  it wasn't even a big gash, but it bled everywhere.  i don't even feel like climbing any more, but that has more to do with my finger being jacked up.  i think it's broke and i don' t care to get it checked.  stupid, i know.

hopefully tomorrow will be better.  new day, new ride.  going to help my church with old people tomorrow afternoon at a nursing home.  should be a good time, i like senile old people.  they give ideas on what to do when i get to be their age.